Before I even began on the first sentence of this humble blog post, I looked for a photo to go with it. Why? Well, the blunt answer is because I am a huge, lazy procrastinator.
I regret to say that it has been a year since I have even touched this blog- I hope that I am older, wiser, and with more experiences than I had when I started it, but the fact remains that I am still a procrastinator.
Always have been.
Now, as I searched with my handy-dandy search engine, the definition (even though I think we all already know what this means-
“…A procrastinator is a person who delays or puts things off — like work, chores, or other actions — that should be done in a timely manner. A procrastinator is likely to leave all the Christmas shopping until December 24th. Procrastinator comes from the Latin verb procrastinare, which means deferred until tomorrow…”
Deferred until tomorrow.
Yes, I have been doing a lot of ‘deferring things until tomorrow’ these days.
Getting caught in a dream, or just a hustle bustle of routine- going to high school, skirting the halls, precarious mountains of homework, and inexplicably heavy English textbooks, I have unfortunately been caught in a snow storm of studying and running.
New school, new routine, and running, always running.
I don’t mean running figuratively, I mean actual, terrifyingly grueling running.
A whirlwind of long distance running.
Why I chose the sport? I still don’t know.
The methodic falling steps for miles and miles, synchronized breath, and arms bending like clockworks.
Getting stuck, stuck into an infinite routine.
Lately, I have been looking for something risky. Something different. Something new. Legendary. Wonderful.
This is a huge revelation for me, being that I am the biggest worry wart on the planet- but this routine has stretched on for so long.
Sometimes, you just feel exhausted. Tired. Tired of staring at the same sweats, jeans, laughing factions of different people. T-shirts and jeans, backpacks and the obnoxious bell ringing in your ears.
This last weekend, I journeyed to Reno, Nevada for a service.
We had to stay in a casino, and the flashing lights, and confusing staircases all built into an intricately designed circle.
It was an interesting breach to my long routine- me, with my gray Canon, shooting away in manual, gazing at life through the viewfinder, going up the stairs rather than the elevator, resisting the urge to think about the homework, and the next day. Monday.
I found myself, after a time, away from the flashing lights and slot machines, gazing about at the faded-rose carpet, high popcorn ceilings, and a door revealing stacks of chairs.
“A ballroom!” my dad had said softly.
A plethora of voices was rising out of the vast ballroom, and from the doorway I could see the t-shirt wearing, tennis shoe clad folk- the behind the scenes, directing chairs here and there, lost in their own routines.
I had nodded, snapping a picture of the snapped chairs in a blurring moment.
Comparing the gaudy velvet staircase to the ceiling of mirrors, I looked on in awe at this circular life. I could see people sitting at the flashy neon lighted machinery, waiting for their chance, all locked into their own lives, the stench of cigarette smoke wafting across the room.
From there, we traveled up to the 25th floor, caught up in our lives- a city skyline (which had looked rather plain in the day) was not lit up with reds, blues, and yellows.
And then- snow!
My first experience with real, actual white snow falling from the night sky- my camera flash blinking every few seconds making the snowflakes look like falling stars when I looked in my viewfinder- a stark white against a velvety black.
Laughing and snapping away, thinking about how wrapped up we all get in our own routines, our own lives.
How beautiful life could be if you lived it to its full extent.
How wonderful daily life can be if you can smile and just dream.
How many possibilities there are, how many lives are meant to be lived, how doing what you are passionate about can help you find joy.
Live in the moment, and find solace in the fact that you can do so much.
Take a risk with it. Life is short.
(and yes, I know this is incredibly cheesy and I can think of so many sarcastic remarks to counter all of these, but that’s passed the point.)
P.S. I apologize for making you wait so long! I have been, as I said in the beginning of the passage, I am a huge, lazy procrastinator that has not updated in months and I am sorry for that! If anyone is reading this, have a wonderful day, and I promise (please believe me when I say this) that I will update more consistently.
P.P.S.: Please leave some constructive feedback if you can, I would really appreciate it.